It has been a while since I have written anything here. Between some manufactured antagonism in the CoCo world and the COVID-19 affair in the real world, my capacity for fun has been zapped for months. I do not want to claim to have been "depressed", solely because I do not want to belittle the experiences of those who regularly struggle with such issues. But, I have been feeling the weight of the world for some time.
Starting Something
I have been lamenting that I do not have a current retrocomputing project in progress. Even without a lot of dedicated time, an open project can be an invitation to steal away for a few moments here and there to try some experiment or to implement some new feature or another. But I often find that starting a project from nothing can be an ordeal. Perhaps I am just averse to building a string of unfinished projects? But for whatever reason, I have had trouble getting started on much of anything for some time.
I have a few ideas for CoCo projects -- mostly games. But what type of game? What sort of game mechanics? What graphics resolutions? Do I target the CoCo3? Or is the base CoCo and its various clones good enough? Should I make use of any specific hardware or controllers? Will the game be a demonstration of my skill and prowess as a 6809 programmer? Or just something fun to do? So many questions!!
Boilerplate
With my lingering indecision and looming depression, I still have no CoCo project to which I am committed. Still, I feel the need to get something underway. For now, I have decided to start with something simple. Using some older projects for boilerplate code, I will start experimenting. I have a couple of directions to explore and experiments to try. I am hoping that I will at least learn something in the process, and maybe something will spark.
Wish me luck!?!?!
I myself have struggled to muster enthusiasm for any retro project, whether CoCo related or not, for quite some time now. I've been searching for answers about why, but thus far am unable to come up with any answer that I truly believe, or perhaps want to admit. But I have been clinging to the hope that it is merely a phase that will eventually pass, and that I'll rediscover my hobby all over again.
ReplyDeleteYou see, I _want_ to be active in the hobby; it's something that has held my interest for decades and part of me can't bear the thought of losing that passion that I've invested so much time, energy (and money) in. But when I find myself with a bit of time it rarely results in me picking up a game, or firing up an emulator, or cracking open an 8-bit project. Sometimes I force myself to, but often it feels just that - forced.
Maybe with a young family I have nothing creative left at the end of the day? That is an answer that I could actually live with. Or maybe it's because I've gotten lazy, more likely to pore though posts of what others are doing in the hobby than start anything myself. Certainly nothing to be proud of, but not the worst reason either, and something I could work on.
Or has the hobby itself changed? Sure we have new peripherals and new hardware and new means to enjoy it, but I'd argue that the very nature of the hobby is, in effect, future proof! Rather what we're doing and will continue to do is preserve these machines and the software and the practices of decades past. So that's not it.
What if it's because retro just doesn't do it for me anymore? I've had other interests and hobbies in life before - more than a few and quite diverse in fact - and still do now, so it's not as if I've recently been "enlightened to the shallowness of my retrocomputing life". Likewise having a family hasn't (I don't think) suddenly opened my eyes to the wonders of the world either. So could this actually be the case?
I truly hope not, because that would be sad. I still listen to my podcasts, The CoCoCrew and TrashTalk primarily, and enjoy them. At the same time, my recently-acquired MiSTer sits on my desk, rarely powered-on. MAME hasn't been run for months. Several WIP projects remain unfinished, some probably only a few weeks from being complete. Yet I also think about justifying starting another - some day.
Good luck John, I hope you find your retro mojo! And if you find a bit extra in there, send some my way, because I could use it right now.